Meditation and Mood Changes

Here’s the latest from Practicing Mental Illness:

Can meditation help you identify oncoming anxiety, depression or mania and give you time to intervene and avoid the worst? I’ve found that it can.

Meditation is simply being still and noticing things. Feelings in the body and thoughts that come up in the mind are observed without harsh judgment or fixation. They don’t need to be dismissed, but are instead observed and reflected on for their effect on one’s wellbeing.

Being conscious of the nature of thoughts and the sensations in the body can be a powerful tool in predicting mood changes.

Although episodes of anxiety, depression or mania may feel like they come roaring out of nowhere, only to be noticed after one is deep into the negative episode and some damage has already been done, this is rarely the case. Usually there are some physical or mental warning signs that signal the brewing mood change.

Careful focused attention, or meditation, can help one to discover these subtle changes, and to act on them when they arise.

I have discovered that discomfort in my gut, and thoughts of new investments or fantasies of new roles or careers usually signal that my bipolar disorder is about to become assertive. Interests suddenly change, and all too often these changes are met with huge purchases and irrational behavior as my careful planning is thrown away and manic obsession settles in. Or the gut cramps and effort and thought slowly become too hard to be worth it as depression takes hold.

After establishing a regular meditation practice I began to notice these consistent precursors in the run-up to inconsistent behavior. Suddenly, instead of being surprised and defeated, I could use my rational thought to plan for, or avoid, grandiosity, the lack of impulse control, even dangerous behavior.

When I discovered these signals, I took the information to my doctor and we devised some interventions to avoid the worst of each episode. These include taking something to help me sleep, locking away my credit cards, avoiding that wine with dinner, or not shooting out emails or social posts to friends, co-workers and bosses that I thought were crucial but instead made no sense and set me up for a lot of explanation later.

Today, as I meditate I begin to recognize when the thoughts and plans don’t make sense and the spending begins. I can immediately turn to family, friends and my doctor to hold me back and keep me grounded and sane.

While I still have my reason I can act in rational and preventative ways to skirt the danger and defeat of bipolar disorder.

It takes some time. First, through careful self-study, therapy, and mediation you must learn your early warning signs. Then you need to set up a plan of what to do when you notice them. Finally, you must carefully spend time in silence every day and carefully monitor your thoughts, actions, and the feelings in your body. When the warning signs appear you can feel them as they begin and then take action to stay healthy.

I have been meditating this way for over years, and combined with the medication I take the practice has helped keep me stable and out of trouble. I haven’t been hospitalized since 2006, and I’ve been able to hold a good job and start a family. All of this was unimaginable before I started meditating.

One of the advantages of having bipolar disorder for such a long time is the realization that the run-up to unpredictable behavior is often predictable. Meditation can help you notice the beginning of each episode. Then you can act skillfully and stay stable and well.

School’s In

It’s a tough time for parents. Dealing with a mental illness is challenging enough. Having kids struggling with virtual learning at home really strains coping skills. I wrote about this for the International Bipolar Foundation. See “Back to School, Sort of.”

Meditation

I wanted to post some basic meditation instructions for those just starting out and for those renewing or reviewing their practice. After all, we’re all beginners, aren’t we? A video of me with my eyes closed may sound awfully boring, but if you close your eyes and follow along it may be beneficial. Last week I put up a video of Brad Warner’s back, and that was more compelling than it sounds. Maybe this will provide some insight, too.